THE "SCAM" ENCOUNTER, BY Mercedes Jerez Araoz

THE “SCAM” ENCOUNTER

                                                       De MERCEDES JEREZ ARAOZ

CHARACTERS – 7

FLANER:   CUSTOMER

IBRAHIM:   STORE OWNER

STORE CLERK

POLICEMAN

PASSERBY/COLLECTOR

RECEPTIONIST OF HOTEL

NARRATOR

CONTROL:   MUSIC OF “COUNTRY BOY”.

                        (BACKGROUND)

NARRATOR:   MRS. FANER, A TOURIST IN BUENOS AIRES WAS LOOKING ALL OVER FOR ARGENTINE MADE LEATHER BOOTS WHICH WOULD ALSO SERVE AS A SOUVENIR OF HER TRIP.  FOR THIS REASON SHE ENTERED INTO A LUXIORIOUS SHOP ON THE FAMOUS STREET CALLED “FLORIDA”.

(SHOP DOORBELLS)

FLANER:   GOOD DAY!  I AM LOOKING TO BUY SOME FINE LEATHER SHOES…  I HAVE OBSERVED THAT YOU HAVE DISTINCT TYPES OF MERCHANDISE, OF DIFFERENT QUALITY.

IBRAHIM:   YES, MAM.  WE HAVE MANY PRODUCTS OF DIFFERENT ORIGENS, SOME OF THEM MANUFACTURED WITH RARE OR EXTINCT LEATHERS.

FLANER:   GREAT!  I SEE THAT YOU LIKE TO IMPRESS POSSIBLE BUYERS…  NO MATTER…  I AM LOOKING FOR HIGH STALK BOOTS, LIKE THOSE OF A HUNTER, MADE FROM SOME RARE AND EXCLUSIVE LEATHER… NUMBER 8 ½ OR AS YOU SAY…  39).

IBRAHIM:   WELL, (PAUSE) … I HAVE AN IDEA!  I BELIEVE YOU CAN SAVE ME FROM A SMALL PROBLEM I HAVE!

FLANER:   MY ONLY CONCERN IS TO BUY A PAIR OF BOOTS WITH A DISTINGUISHED, EXCLUSIVE, OUT OF THE ORDINARY LOOK.

IBRAHIM:   EXACTLY… WITH THIS SALE BOTH OF US WILL PROFIT!

FLANER:   IN THAT CASE, BRING ME A NUMBER 8 ½! 

IBRAHIM:   I WILL GET DOWN A SPECIAL PAIR OF NO. 8 ½ “RARE” LEATHER BOOTS IMMEDIATELY (ALMOST MUSEUM PIECES), THAT ARE HERE BY CASUALITY AND PRESENTLY COMPROMISE ME.

FLANER:   COME ON!  DON’T EXAGERATE… IF I LIKE THEM AND THEY FIT, I WILL BUY THEM.  YOU NEED NOT DRAMATIZE SO!

IBRAHIM:  (IN LOUD VOICE)  JOHN, QUICK!  GET DOWN THE GREEN BOX… THAT SPECIAL ONE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE OTHER DAY…

JOHN:  WAIT A MINUTE! … IT’S HARD TO GET OUT… IT’S STUCK BEHIND ALL THE REST AND THIS STEPLADDER MOVES… SO I’LL THROW IT DOWN FROM HERE…

EFFECTS  (A HEAVY BOX FALLS).

FLANER:  WATCH  IT!  YOU COULD RUIN THE MERCHANDISE! 

IBRAHIM:  IT IS WELL PACKED!... NOTICE THE QUALITY OF THE LEATHER AND HOW COMFORTABLE THESE BOOTS ARE. 

FLANER:  YES… YES!  I’VE TRIED THEM ON.  THEY ARE SO LUXIOURIOUS AND THEY FIT LIKE GLOVES!  THE LEATHER IS RARE, AND SO FLEXIBLE!

(STEPS)

IBRAHIM:  I BELIEVE YOU WILL BE PLEASED WITH THESE… AND I COULD EVEN GET RID OF MANY  PREOCUPATIONS WITH THIS SALE…  I CONSIDER YOUR PRESENCE A TRUE MIRACLE!

FLANER:  I REALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY.  BUT AT THIS POINT IT DOESN’T MATTER… WHAT INTERESTS ME IS TO ACQUIRE THE BOOTS AND A SMALL MATCHING PURSE.

IBRAIM:   YET, I AM CONCERNED BECAUSE IN THIS CITY THERE ARE RESTRICTIONS ON THE SALE OF ARTICLES AND CRAFTS MADE OF EXTINCT MATERIALS.

FLANER:  I HAVE NO INTENTION OF BUYING ANYTHING LIKE THAT. FURTHERMORE,  I DON’T HAVE THE MONEY TO ACQUIRE SUCH ITEMS.

IBRAHIM:   LISTEN.  ALTHOUGH WE ONLY RECENTLY HAVE MET,  I FEEL OBLIGED TO CONFIDE IN YOU.  I AM THE OWNER OF THIS SHOP.  MY NAME IS IBRAHIM.  AS A TOURIST YOU CAN HELP ME RID MYSELF OF A GREAT PREOCUPATION AND AVOID A GREAT PROBLEM.  I HAVE SECRET AND VALUABLE PRODUCTS THAT…

FLANER:  EXCUSE ME.  I LAMENT YOUR PROBLEM.  BUT I ONLY WANT TO BUY A PAIR OF RARE LEATHER BOTS WITH MATCHING PURSE.  I DON’T WANT TO GET MIXED UP IN ANY PROBLEMS.

IBRAHIM:  DON’T TAKE IT WRONG.  THESE TWO ITEMS WERE ACQUIRED HONESTLLY, WITHOUT KNOWING THEY WERE MADE OF RARE AND SPECIAL LEATHER.

FLANER:  WELL, THEN… WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?

IBRAHIM:  THE CONVECTION AND SALE OF ANIMAL SKINS IN EXTINCTION IS PROHIBITED AND SOME SPECIAL INSPECTORS HAVE ALREADY DETECTED THESE TWO ITEMS, WHICH ARE THE ONLY ONES STILL LEFT.

FLANER:  OR, SHALL WE SAY, IF THEY CONFIRM THAT YOU HAVE THESE ITEMS, THEY COULD GIVE YOU A FINE, OR EVEN CLOSE YOUR SHOP.

IBRAHIM:  THAT’S IT EXACTLY…  AND YOU HAVE BEEN SENT FROM HEAVEN!  I HAVE JUST BEEN ADVISED BY TELEPHONE THAT AN INSPECTOR IS ABOUT TO ARRIVE AT ANY MOMENT TO CHECK THIS SHOP OUT.

FLANER:  YOU COULD HIDE THESE ITEMS, OR TAKE THEM TO SOME OTHER PLACE.

IBRAHIM:  I CAN’T DISPOSE OF THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE REGISTERED IN SPECIAL INVENTORIES, BUT IF YOU WERE TO TAKE THEM…

FLANER:  UNDERSTOOD.  WHAT IS YOUR PROPOSITION?

IBRAHIM:  FIRST.  OBSERVE HOW WELL THE BOOTS FIT YOU!

FLANER:  YES, REALLY THEY ARE MARVELOUS.  PERHAPS A BIT EXTRAVAGANT  FOR ME…  BUT I FEEL THAT I COULD WEAR THEM ALWAYS.

IBRAHIM:  THINK NO MORE!  THEY ARE IN STYLE PRESENTLY ALL OVER THE WORLD, ALTHOUGH THEY ARE UNIQUE.  TAKE THEM!  I WILL SELL THEM TO YOU AT A VERY LOW PRICE!  PRACTICALLY FREE,  BECAUSE OF MY HURRY.

FLANER:  WELL!...  (PAUSE)  LET ME SEE… (PAUSE)  I’M NOT SO SURE THAT…

IBRAHIM:  YOU CAN’T LOSE THIS OPPORTUNITY!...  THEY FIT YOU PERFECTLY!...  IT IS A MAGNIFICENT SALE!...  AND THE PURSE IS PRECIOUS.

FLANER:  I HOPE I’M NOT MAKING A BIG MISTAKE…  THE COMBINATION IS UNIQUE…  I ACCEPT…  WRAP THEM UP! … OR CONSIDERING ALL…  I’LL PUT THEM ON  NOW.

IBRAHIM:  OH, NO!...  YOU CAN’T WEAR THEM NOW!...  YOU WOULD COMPROMISE ME!...  IN ANY CASE YOU CAN SHOW THEM OFF IN SOME OTHER PLACE, FAR FROM HERE.

FLANER: I BELIEVE YOU ARE EXAGERATING.  YOUR OFFER IS STRANGE… BUT I’M GOING TO TAKE BOTH ARTICLES…  FOR 20 DOLLARS I COULDN’T GET ANYTHING SO FINE ELSEWHERE.

IBRAHIM: THAT’S A FACT!...  IT’S LIKE RECIEVING A PRIZE.  AND IT ALSO BENEFITS ME!

   (CONTROL: MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND, THEN LOWERED.)

NARRATOR:  FANER WAS SO PLEASED WITH HER PURCHASE, THAT DESPITE THE RECOMMENDATIONS IBRAHIM HAD MADE, SHE PUT THE BOOTS ON AND WENT ON AN OUTING IN THE CITY.

A LITTLE LATER, WHILE SHE WAS ENJOYING A DRINK AT A STREET CAFÉ, A POLICEMAN APPROACHED.  AFTER REVISING HER PASSPORT, THE POLICEMAN ASKED FOR AN EXPLANATION CONCERNING THE PARTICULAR AND “SPECIAL” LEATHER ITEMS FLANER HAPPENED TO BE WEARING.

EFFECTS: TABLE, STREET CAFÉ/PASSERSBY

POLICEMAN: GOOD AFTERNOON, I’M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT IT IS OUR PUBLIC DUTY AS POLICE OFFICIALS TO INVESTIGATE AND AVOID THE DISAPPEARANCE OR SALE OF VALUABLE, RARE OBJECTS FROM THE COUNTRY.  YOUR EXCLUSIVE AND RARE BOOTS ARE SUSPICIOUS.

FLANER: IT’S QUITE UNDERSTANDABLE, OFFICER.  BUT, ALTHOUGH  I AM NO EXPERT, I ASSURE YOU THAT THESE BOOTS ARE MADE OF COMMON LEATHER.  I PAID A VERY LOW PRICE FOR THEM.  IF THEY WERE SO SPECIAL (AS YOU HAVE SAID) NO ONE WOULD HAVE SOLD THEM TO ME SO INEXPENSIVELY…  LOOK!  THIS IS THE BILL OF SALE.

POLICEMAN: YES, YOU ARE RIGHT… I BELIEVE THEY ARE A VERY GOOD IMITATION.  I’M SORRY TO HAVE BOTHERED YOU.  DO BE CAREFUL.  SOME MERCHANTS HERE USE TOURISTS TO DO DIRTY TRICKS!

FLANER: DIRTY TRICKS!  YOU MEAN THE SAME PEOPLE WHO TREAT ME SO NICELY,  AND WITH SUCH GOOD MANNERS, ALSO DO DIRTY BUSINESS!  REALLY, I FIND THAT HARD TO BEIEVE!

POLICEMAN: GOOD AFTERNOON!

FLANER: GOOD AFTERNOON! 

                     IN WHAT KIND OF MESS HAVE I GOTTEN INTO?

                     YET… I MYSELF WILL FIX THIS DEAL… WITH THAT

                     SHAMELESS IBRAHIM WHO SOLD THESE BOOTS AND

                     PURSE TO ME.

                     WHAT A MESS!  … AND HOW DISAGREEABLE! 

                     … I SHALL GO TO HIS SHOP AT THIS VERY MOMENT AND

                     INSIST HE RETURN MY MONEY TO ME!

CONTROL  STREET SCENE (PEOPLE WALKING ABOUT)

NARRATOR: ANNOYED AND DISPLEASED, FLANER WENT TO HER HOTEL AND AFTER CHANGING THE BOOTS, SHE PUT THEM IN THE GREEN BOX.  AFTER THIS, SHE HURRIEDLY BEGAN WALKING TOWARDS THE LEATHER SHOP WHERE SHE CONFRONTED IBRAHIM, THE SHOP OWNER.

CONTROL:  STREET

EFFECTS:  DOORBELLS

IBRAHIM:  OH… YOU AGAIN MRS. FLANER!  WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

 

FLANER:  I DEMAND YOU RETURN THE MONEY I PAID FOR THIS MERCHANDISE.  YOU DECEIVINGLY SOLD IT TO ME.  IT HAS CAUSED ME GREAT ANNOYANCE AND TROUBLE.

IBRAHIM:  YOU ARE GREATLY MISTAKEN.  I DID NOT DECEIVE YOU.  I WARNED YOU NOT TO USE THESE ITEMS IN PUBLIC.  YOU PAID NO ATTENTION TO MY WARNINGS!

FLANER:   I DEMAND YOU RTURN MY MONEY TO ME IMMEDAIATELY.

IBRAHIM:  NOT POSSIBLE!  NO!  I TAKE NO RETURN SALES!

FLANER:  HERE!  TAKE YOUR SALE!

EFFECTS:  THE PACKAGE FALLS TO THE FLOOR WITH FURY. 

IBRAHIM:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  THE PURSE AND BOOTS COULD GET RUINED KNOCKING THEM ABOUT LIKE THAT!

FLANER:  YOUR OPINION DOESN’T MATTER TO ME.  RETURN MY MONEY TO ME, NOW.

IBRAHIM:  I CAN’T GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK, AND I WON’T EXCHANGE THE MERCHANDIZE EITHER!

FLANER:  IN THAT CASE, YOU ARE A … A … SWINDLER…

CONTROL:  (SMACKS, FIGHTING AND BODY FALLS TO THE FLOOR).

IBRAHIM:  LEAVE IMMEDIATELY OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE!

(GASPING, PANTING)

CONTROL: EXITING STEPS.

NARRATOR:  FLANER STUMBLES ABOUT, AND HURT, SUSPICIOUS, AND FURIOUS,  SLOWLY LEAVES TAKING THE PACKAGE IN QUESTION WITH HER.

FLANER:  I’M GOING… BUT DON’T THINK YOU HAVE WON…  I WILL CONSULT WITH A LAWYER… THE EMBASSY!  THE UNITED NATIONS.  SOMEBODY WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS…

CONTROL:  MUSIC (COUNTRY BOY)  LOUD AND THEN LOWERED.

NARRATOR:  QUITE BOTHERED WITH THE SITUATION, FLANER RETURNED TO HER HOTEL.  STILL NERVOUS, SHE BEGINS TELLING THE CONCIERGE WHAT HAS HAPPENED.  PEOPLE STOP TO LISTEN AND EVERYONE LISTENS SILENTLY.  BUT ONE PASSERBY (WHO WAS THERE QUITE BY COINCIDENCE) ASKS TO SEE THE CONTENTS OF THE GREEN PACKAGE.  FLANER AGREES AND TO HER GREAT SURPRISE, THE PASSERBY MAKES HER AN INCREDIBE OFFER.

FLANER:  (TO RECEPTIONIST) IT’S A SCAM.  LOOK AT THESE ARTICLES.  LEATHER!  “CARPINCHO”.   I’M FURIOUS.   I’M GOING TO LEAVE THIS COUNTRY…

EFFECTS:  BAG ON THE FLOOR AND PAPERS.

PASSERBY:  WHAT A COINCIDENCE!  THESE TWO RARE LEATHER ITEMS ARE EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR.

FLANER:  FRANKLY, I DON’T KNOW WHAT USE THESE TWO ITEMS OF SUCH RARE LEATHER CAN BE.  I WONDER HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE MADE SUCH A TERRIBLE ERROR.

PASSERBY:  DON’T WORRY!  I HAVE JUST FINISHED CHECKING OVER THESE TWO ITEMS AND AS I AM A COLLECTIONIST, I  OFFER TO BUY BOTH THE BOOTS AND PURSE FOR $2,000 DOLLARS!  MY NAME IS WALER.

FLANER:  I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M HEARING!  ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULD PAY ME THAT SUM?

PASSERBY:  AT THIS VERY MOMENT!  PLEASE TAKE THIS CASH MONEY NOW.  OR IF YOU PREFER I CAN GIVE YOU A CHECK.

EFFECTS (PAPERS)

FLANER:  NO, NO.  NOT A CHECK.  CASH!  CASH!

NARRATOR:  FLANER, SURPRISED AND EUPHORIC, ACCEPTS IMMEDIATELY.  NOW SHE FEELS RELIEVED AND HAPPY.

CONTROL:  MUSIC (COUNTRY BOY)  LOUDER, THEN LOWER.

NARRATOR:  ONE DAY, TWO MONTH’S LATER, HAVING RETURNED TO HER COUNTRY, FLANER WAS READING THE NEWSPAPER WHILE RELAXING AND DRINKING A TEA.  ALL OF A SUDDEN, SHE DISCOVERS AN ASTONISHING ARTICLE, WITH A PHOTO OF THE SAME PASERRBY, THE DIRECTOR OF A MUSEUM, WALER.  WALER WAS SHOWING THE BOOTS AND PURSE WHICH FLANER HAD SOLD TO HER.

FLANER:  (FURIOUS)  THIS IS INCREDIBLE!  IT CAN’T BE HAPPENING TO ME!  I WILL CALL A LAWYER.  I PROTEST!  I’LL SHOUT OUT!  I HAVE BEEN TRICKED.  OH!  OH!  I WILL CALL CONSUMER PROTECTION.  A MILLION…  A MILLION DOLLARS.  THEY ARE GONE!  GONE! 

CONTROL:  (CUP AND SAUCER FALL SUDDENLY)

                        (MUSIC – LOUDER, THEN LOWER AND STILL)

NARRATOR:  DESPERATE, FLANER DISCOVERS THAT WALER, TO WHOM SHE HAD SOLD THE LEATHER BOOTS AND PURSE, HAS RECEIVED A MILLION DOLLARS FOR THEM!

CONTROL:  FLANER IS SEEN PROTESTING AND SCREAMING WITH ARMS RAISED.

FLANER:  GONE.  GONE!  A MILLION!  DOLLARS!

 NARRATOR:  …THE DISCOVERY AND POSESSION OF THESE TWO RARE ALLIGATOR ITEMS WHICH (AS SHE SAID) WERE OBTRAINED AS A RESULT OF HER PERSISTANT DEDICATION AND WORK AS PALEONTHOLOGIST…

(OVER THE NARRATOR FLANER CAN BE SEEN REPEATING “GONE” “A MILLION”  “VOLARON”, AND WAVING HER ARMS.

CONTROL:  LOUDER “COUNTRY BOY” UNTIL END.

END