A PINCH OF BAD TASTE!

A pinch of bad taste!

By: Karla Wagener

ANNOUNCER

WOMAN

EMPLOYEE

GREENGROCER

HUSBAND

 (Music and noise of a football game)

Announcer: In a very ordinary and traditional neighborhood, a wife is busy buying the little things necessary for her home ... She had always been of the opinion that if men had the same passion to build a better society ... as they have for football ... well, listen ...

Women: Give me a kilo of apples

Employee: Today we are going to win.

Woman: What? The neighborhood team that plays today...

Employee: Yes, we will win.

Woman: They always win!

Greengrocer: ... sort of...

Women: What happens is that they sell their good players for a profit, and then they lose.

Greengrocer: seems so...!

Woman: ... it seems so, ha ha ha!  Everyone knows this is true!

Employee: What else?

Women: Half a kilo of banana.

Employee: 12 dollars.

Woman: Oh, and a red bell pepper.

Employee: There are no red peppers.

Woman: Well, give me a green one.

Employee: Here you go!  Let him add it all up.

Greengrocer: How much for the bell pepper?

Employee: I guess 70 cents.

Greengrocer: That would be twenty three seventy.

Woman: No way ... I calculated more or less and that does not seem right to me. ...

Greengrocer: ah, yes, you're right. Look this seems like a 2. Look, doesn´t it seem like a 2?

Women. Right! In this system anything could look like a two ... Well, I´m not going to argue with you on such a beautiful day... Good Day! I must go to the bakery and then the pharmacy... oh, and I must hurry home.  My husband has been very nervous and jealous lately...

Announcer: The bakery was very close to the grocery store ... a few steps, no more, so after going to the pharmacy, the woman returned home to find her husband with the blood pressure machine in his hands...

Husband: What took so long? (Yelling) What were you doing? ... Chatting with the neighbors again. Give me the pills.

Woman: Do not fret so much. It'll be bad for you.

Husband: Look, these cookies are old. Someone erased the expiration date with alcohol, and put another date.

Woman: Take your pressure pill...

Man: Wait, make me a ham and cheese sandwich first ...

Women: How´s the bread?

Husband:  This is horrible! Why didn’t you buy unsalted bread? I have pressure. I should not eat salt...

Women: I did order unsalted. Do you think that that nice girl in the bakery gave me bread with salt?  You can´t trust anyone anymore.

Husband: Give me the pressure pill ... I want to hear the game.

Women: You smell like wine. Have you been drinking the wine I use to cook with again?

Husband: No, I swear, by the devil, no ... Look someone opened this strip of pills. Are they good? ... Something as important as pressure pills...

Woman:  If I cannot trust the person closest to me, who can I trust? Not the pharmacy or you... look here ... there is an empty package of salty peanuts.  Salt will be bad for your high blood pressure.

Husband: I did not eat anything! I swear ... I swear by the devil!  But give me a high blood pressure pill just in case.

Woman: I wonder if they are any good. There was a sign in the pharmacy that said: "Our doctors use seal identifiers".

Husband:  The radio says the team tied again… after they had won the championship last year. Suddenly, they tied three straight times in a row.

Wife:  You yourself told me they sell off the best players to make a profit.  Even the greengrocer knows that!

Husband: Do something. I have pressure. Look. 17 ... I have a pain in my head. My chest hurts...

(Football music and ambulances, fights and broken glass are heard.)

Wife:  You expect me to solution all your problems.  You do something!  I want to watch my soap opera.  It´s time for my show.

 Husband: Listen to the radio.  It seems that the same police are turning buses over and burning them...

Wife: Take a nice hot bath. Eat banana.  They have potassium ...I did what I could for you!

Husband: I'll put parsley in the food for your birds. So they get sick, and do not come any more!

Wife:  Yeah, the birds will poop all over your patio!

Wife: Go out for walk and relax a bit. Go to hell with your devil... You deserve each other!  I need some peace and quiet!  I can´t take this anymore!

Husband: Api, my chest, my head. It hurts!

Wife: Drink some fresh water ... Breathe clean air ... Do something!  

Husband: ug! This water smells, like, bleach or something. Look, it is dirty, and the air makes me (sneezes).

(Football music continues)...

Wife: If only men had the passion they have for football, to solve the problems of the World!

                                                   END