THE OPTIMIST AND THE ART OF CONVERSATION by Karla Wagener

THE OPTIMIST
AND THE ART OF CONVERSATION
by: Karla WAGENER

ANNOUNCAER

The optimist
Psychologist
Foreigner
Galician Grocer

(MUSIC - "A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS"
ANNOUNCER: In the 70's everyone was talking about a wave of Psychology BOOKS SUCH AS "Loving too Much” which talked about being too permissive. Another was "Games People Play", which commented on how to control or manipulate people ... on the other hand, there were interesting books about nutrition, such AS "Diet for a Small World” and books on love ... of psychology (which was booming ...) In those years Argentina was in its own SMALL world away from the rest of the world,… with the old neighborhood food stores, weighing scales, cans and packages to the fund, and large boxes cookies in TIN cans, of any sort or shape.  In these places there were huge amounts of liquor bottles, of coffee, anis, and certainly Legui bottles and the Argentine liquor, "Grapa" ... Many students chose to study Psychology to learn more ... (But what was the solution to problems?)

We are in the neighborhood store ...
Grocer: So you're new in the neighborhood. Where are you from? Germany? Poland? What are you, European?
Foreigner: Mrs. Grocer, I was born in the United States. I AM the granddaughter of German immigrants and Sioux Indians ...
Grocer: Do tell? so what are  YOU doing HERE?
announcer: This was before the Argentina of the "Malvinas’", or "Falkland war" before fame Maradona, the Chinese, Black African, a time before there was much importation, or industry , and the  Japanese were scattered here and there ... a time when everyone went downtown to the center of the City to see a movie, eat out, and have a coffee. More than anything, a time of military control ...
(MUSIC - "Solo le pido de Dios")
Foreigner: I came to do the will of god ...
Psychologist: What are you a missionary?  There are many foreign missionaries here. I am a Psychologist. This is a, maternal society. You may, find it difficult to get used to it... look, I have seen you in the neighborhood. Have you gained a few pounds? Perhaps you must go walking more often.
THE OPTIMIST: I am the optimist of the neighborhood. It is advisable for you to have a few extra pounds to avoid falling into a depression, especially with all these political and economic problems these days, anyway, you may lose weight, but that character of Friday The Thirteenth that you have is  ... unlikely to change ...
Psychologist: Argentina, these days, is in a small state of psychosis, which is to say,  the country is in its own SMALL WORLD ... and, well, this may be necessary in facing a sick world, of violence and so changeable ...
Grocer: Men here, do not like FAT women. If you came to find a man, you must LOSE weight and dress up a bit. Your hairdo is very messy. 

Foreigner: I came to Argentina because I once had a sociology professor who spoke very well of this country. He was born in Argentina and was very proud of this place. He said the meat was the best, that horses were the best, that men were very polite and thin. He spoke of Mate and sports, that if you plant a seed, it grows immediately…

Grocer: (The Exiles who go out of this Country remember the best of everything. So why did you come here..., to buy meat, buy a horse, or find a man?
(MUSIC - "Solo le Pido a Dios", a song by Leon Gieco)
Psychologist: It seems to me that this is not a good place to find a man.  Studies show there is much violence here against women... Your mentality is not accostumned to... DISCIPLINE, Besides, that is all we need... for you to come and take away our men, the same way you have  taken A LOT OF NATURAL RESOURCES ...
Grocer: What are the men in your "paid" like?
Foreigner: I already paid. Why do I have to pay again?
OPTIMIST: No, No, the Word "paid" is a word that means "a person's native land", or where a person comes from. The "Galician" is asking, "What about the tall, blonde men with blue eyes from your native land, so ...? HANDSOME ... SO...?  Speaking of money, I do not have money, but happily, I have people who lend it to me.
Foreigner: IT IS VERY SAD. A lot of the men lost their lives in wars and international disputes. The number of men to women is something ... LIKE ... 3 to 1, and of those, many men were maimed.

Psychologist: So, indeed, you did come looking for a man? I quote, "TRUTH, although INCOMPLETE, distressing, or apparently unbearable, is what will ease ..."
FOREIGNer: YES. I MEAN, THAT NO... Well, yes. I BELIEVE THAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR ALL THE LOVE IN THE final analysis ...
Grocer: YES OR NO? ¿Up or down? ¿Inside or outside?
FOREIGNer: I CAME TO see the country. Everything ... Customs, food, horses, TANGO, Mate... My TEACHER ... was so proud of this Country, educated people, A SYSTEM OF MEDICINE FOR ALL, THE WAY people DRESS so FINE, Great Films, Delicious Lamb chops , Christmas Sweet Bread ...
OPTIMISTIC: YES, this is a wonderful country. We have everything. WHAT I ALWAYS SAY ... Plant a seed and it grows even in the little holes in the walls. THE WIND BRINGS a single SEED TO GROW ... Mint, basil, chard. I HAVE MADE A SONG FOR MY GREAT COUNTRY: (singing) "ARGENTINA, THE PEOPLE OF PEACE. You DO NOT KNOW what you have. FOOD, VEGETATION, HEALTH AND FRIENDSHIP... 

Psychologist: Studies show THAT we should NOT EAT so much MEAT. In this Country we eat way too much meat. Instead others eat soy, grains and many vegetables. When they EAT MEAT, they cut off even THE SMALLEST Pieces of fat. They CANNOT SEE even a small bit of fat. They ARE VERY DEVELOPED.
FOREIGNer: Yes, but then they eat fried food and saturated, boiled oil ... It is so advanced to exchange  EMPTY BOTTLES, use shopping Bags and not PLASTIC BAGS ... It is BETTER to WALK or go by  TRAIN AND BUS Than by CAR.  Cars AND AIRCRAFT SPEND SO MUCH fuel. PLASTIC and NUCLEAR POWER pollutes more than ...
THE OPTIMIST: (singing) "ARGENTINA, PEOPLE FOR PEACE, You NOT KNOW what you have. Happiness, caramel, barbecues, Mateados, CIDRA, pastries, caring and concern. ARGENTINA, PEOPLE FOR PEACE, You do NOT KNOW what you have, CHILDREN GROWing, AND CATS, NO RATS. I WISH YOU ALL WELL AND FRIENDSHIP "... (SPEAKS) ONLY WITH TIME AND EFFORT IS a good REPERTOIRE made...
 Psychologist: WHAT we have here IS A very developed ART OF CONVERSATION ... There is a special STYLE IN SPEECH. Proficiency in THE ART of conversation eventually leads to success. As they say, "with sincerity in the pocket, the sky is the limit" ... We ASK, WE WANT TO KNOW, we make inquiries, and most of all... we are a society THAT LIKES TO READ ...
Grocer: YES, we make CONVERSATION that is QUITE Gossipy, that digs deep, and is "ORIGINAL". You could say BAROQUE CONVERSATION WITH ALL THE DETAILS, AND THE BEST lines! As they say, "The best word is a hug or a harmonious smile".
Psychologist: To Make GOOD CONVERSATION it IS IMPORTANT ... (As we all know) ... To LISTEN! When LISTENing WELL, everyone wants to KNOW YOUr OPINION. TO MAKE GOOD CONVERSATION it IS IMPORTANT not to discuss, make instructions, critical analysis or long sermons ESPECIALLY ...
OPTIMIST: I suggest that Freud, or as I call him ... "FRAUD" complicates everything. IF we could get to the root  ... Society would live love completely, AND THE Psychologists, or sociologists, would not be necessary ... or even Many institutions ... LOVE ...
Grocer: ... Do not speak ill of others ... DO NOT GOSSIP ... It is an ART to LISTEN AND to know how TO make questions ... ENCOURAGE OTHERs TO EXPLORE new ideas... ENCOURAGE THE OTHERs TO THINK ...
OPTIMIST: YES, FRAUD complicates everything. Instead of solving things, his teachings complicate everything and cause more craziness.
Psychologist: I am offended. I WILL never FORGIVE this, neVER.
FOREIGNer: FOR SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS RELATIONS, RESPONSABILity in conversation is necessary.

OPTIMIST: (SINGS) ...AND BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP ... TO MY DEAR ARGENTINA, THE PEOPLE OF PEACE!

Grocer: We SPEAK so MUCH TO SAY SO LITTLE ...
Psychologist: According to experts, (I quote), "Human Relations, Loneliness is one of the most pressing social problems of the Millennium in developed countries." On second thought, I'm going to forgive. mercy is the missing link to joining the spiritual psyche.
(MUSIC - "Solo le Pido a Dios")
OPTIMIST: Well, now we have fixed all the problems of the country ... we can return to our homes Satisfied, content AND HAPPY!

Background - MUSIC - "A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS") (Loud then lower)

ANNOUNCER: And so, with GOOD Vibes, optimism, the help of friends, someone who can  listen, AND A GOOD DOSE OF ANALYSIS ... well, as they say, "we plan life and God has the final say. We plan and keep insisting. And God has the final word. AND we keep on planning and insisting until … even God gives in!

END